The Great Marriage Process

Rediscovering the Diamond in Your Marriage: From Brokenness to God’s Grace

Have you ever felt like your marriage was falling short of expectations? Perhaps you’ve looked at other couples and wondered why your relationship doesn’t measure up. As a pastor, I’ve seen countless marriages struggle with this very issue. But today, I want to share a message of hope and transformation for your marriage.

The Hidden Treasure in Your Relationship

There’s a story about an African farmer who sold his land to search for diamonds, only to end his life in despair when he found nothing. Meanwhile, the person who bought his land discovered one of the largest diamonds ever found in that area – right in the same field the original owner had abandoned.

This story reminds me of our marriages. Often, we look at our relationships and see only the faults and failures. We might think, “If only my spouse would change” or “If our circumstances were different, then our marriage would be better.” But the reality is that without God’s help, we’re all broken, and our marriages will reflect that brokenness.

However, I want to challenge and encourage you this morning: our marriages may be broken, but they are not irreparable. With proper understanding, strength from God, and cultivation, they can become trophies of God’s grace to us and the world around us.

The Fall Process: How Sin Breaks Down Marriages

To understand how to improve our marriages, we first need to recognize how sin affects them. In Genesis 2 and 3, we see the perfect marriage between Adam and Eve quickly deteriorate due to sin. This “fall process” still impacts our marriages today:

1. A lie is given: “You will not surely die” (Genesis 3:4)
2. The lie is believed: Sin looks pleasurable and desirable
3. Sin’s curse is received: Shame, fear, and hiding enter the relationship

When we believe the lie that sin won’t hurt us, we damage our marriages. As I often say, “If you find yourself hiding things from your spouse, something’s wrong.” This hiding is a natural result of sin, but it prevents healing and growth in our relationships.

The Gospel Process: Restoring and Improving Your Marriage

Thankfully, God doesn’t leave us in our brokenness. He offers a solution through the gospel – the good news of Jesus Christ. This “gospel process” can transform our marriages:

1. The Spirit convicts us of sin
2. The truth is given: Jesus is “the way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:6)
3. We believe the truth
4. God’s grace is received

Let me be clear: the only solution for your marriage to truly be as God wants it to be is through Jesus. We need His power to transform our relationships.

Practical Steps for Applying the Gospel to Your Marriage

So how do we start this process of transformation? Here are some practical steps:

1. Pray for conviction: Ask God to show you areas where you’ve been selfish or hurtful in your marriage.

2. Confess and believe: Admit your wrongs to God and your spouse, and believe that Jesus can bring new life to your relationship.

3. Embrace God’s grace: Remember, “God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ” (Ephesians 2:4-5). His grace is sufficient for your marriage.

4. Work towards oneness: Strive to love your spouse as yourself and show respect, as Ephesians 5:33 instructs.

5. Start the conversation: Sometimes, we just need to take the first step. It might be uncomfortable, but opening up honest communication is crucial for healing and growth.

The Hope for Your Marriage

Remember, this process isn’t a one-time fix – it’s a daily journey. There will be challenges and setbacks, but God promises to give you the tools you need to cultivate a thriving marriage.

As we close, I want to remind you of this truth: **Your marriage may be broken, but it is not irreparable. With proper understanding, strength from God, and cultivation, it can become a trophy of God’s grace to you and the world around you.**

What process are you following in your marriage right now? Are you stuck in the fall process, or are you ready to embrace the gospel process? Today could be the day you take the first step towards rediscovering the diamond in your marriage – a relationship that reflects God’s love and grace to a watching world.