As Good As Done

The Transformative Power of Sacrificial Love in Marriage

Have you ever wondered what it truly means to love your spouse? As husbands, we’re called to a love that goes far beyond mere feelings or convenience. It’s a love that requires nothing less than our very lives.

The Divine Command to Love

As I stood before the congregation, my eyes were drawn to the powerful words on the screen: “Husbands, love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her” (Ephesians 5:25). This verse isn’t just a suggestion; it’s a command from God Himself. And it’s not talking about any ordinary love – it’s calling us to a sacrificial love that mirrors Christ’s ultimate sacrifice for us.

I want you to notice something crucial here: “He didn’t say partners,” I pointed out. “The Bible says husbands.” In a world where relationships are increasingly fluid and undefined, God’s Word stands firm on the sanctity and specificity of marriage between a husband and wife.

The Hour Has Come

To understand the depth of this love, we need to look at Jesus’ own words in John 12:23-24. When some Greeks came seeking Him, Jesus declared, “The hour has come that the Son of Man should be glorified.” He then used a powerful metaphor: “Verily, verily I say unto you, except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abides alone. But if it die, it brings forth much fruit.”

What was Jesus talking about? He was referring to His impending death and the life that would spring from it. This is the model of love we’re called to emulate in our marriages.

Dying to Self: The Key to Loving Like Christ

Here’s the crux of the matter, men: “Husbands, how do you love your wives? You love your wife by forgetting about yourself. Self has nothing to do with it. You forget about yourself, you live for her, you live for her welfare, you live for what she wants.”

This kind of love isn’t natural to us. It requires a supernatural power – the power that comes from our union with Christ. Furthermore, as Paul writes in Galatians 2:20, “I am crucified with Christ, nevertheless I live, yet not I, but Christ lives in me.” This is the secret to loving our wives as Christ loved the church.

The Power of Reckoning

To tap into this transformative love, we need to understand and apply the principle of reckoning. In Romans 6:11, we’re told to “reckon yourselves to be dead indeed to sin, but alive unto God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” This isn’t wishful thinking; it’s counting on the truth of what God has already accomplished in us through Christ.

“Dead people don’t get angry with their wives,” I reminded the congregation. “Dead men aren’t jealous. Have you ever known a dead man to have a red face with anger? I’ve never seen one.”

As Good as Done

There’s a powerful idiom that captures this truth: “as good as done.” When we trust in Christ’s finished work, our death to self and resurrection to new life are as good as done. We’re not striving to achieve it; we’re called to live it out.

Practical Steps for Husbands

So, how do we apply this in our marriages? Here are some practical steps:

1. Repent of self-centeredness: Ask God to forgive you for the times you’ve put yourself first in your marriage.
2. Reckon yourself dead to sin: Daily remind yourself that you’ve died with Christ and His life is now in you.
3. Seek opportunities to serve: Look for ways to put your wife’s needs and desires before your own.
4. Let Christ love through you: Instead of trying to drum up love on your own, ask Christ to love your wife through you.
5. Renew your mind: Meditate on Scriptures that remind you of your identity in Christ and His love for the church.

Life Application: Putting Sacrificial Love into Practice

As we conclude, I challenge you, husbands, to take these truths to heart. Your ability to love your wife sacrificially isn’t dependent on your own strength or feelings. It’s rooted in the reality of your union with Christ.

This week, I encourage you to:
1. Spend time in prayer, asking God to show you areas where you’ve been self-centered in your marriage.
2. Choose one specific way you can serve your wife each day, putting her needs before your own.
3. Memorize Ephesians 5:25 and recite it to yourself daily as a reminder of God’s call on your life as a husband.

Remember, in Christ, you have everything you need to love your wife as He loved the church. It’s as good as done – now go and live it out!