A Proverbs 31 Husband and Children
The title of my message on Mother’s Day was not the Proverbs 31 woman. It was the Proverbs 31 husband and the Proverbs 31 children. Verses 28 and 29 say, “her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.” I did not grow up in a Christian home and did not have a godly father to model this for me. But even if you did not have the example you wish you had, you can take what the Bible says and let God help you live it.
A Mother Teaching Her Son
Proverbs 31 begins with the words of King Lemuel, an oracle his mother taught him. Some think he was a heathen king, and others think it is David and his mother Bathsheba. She warns him about the wrong kind of woman, about alcohol, and about defending the defenseless, and then verses 10 through 31 describe the ideal woman. Those 22 verses are an acrostic, one for each letter of the Hebrew alphabet. Derek Kidner called it an alphabet of wifely excellence.
Many women get discouraged at the Proverbs 31 woman on Mother’s Day. My own mom was a single mother who worked at Disney World, sometimes holding two or three jobs, and was both mother and father in her discipline. This passage is not a threat. It is like building the ideal quarterback from the traits of the greats, or the ideal pastor with Solomon’s wisdom, David’s courage, Samson’s strength, Job’s patience, and Zacchaeus’s agility. “There are no perfect husbands there are no perfect children,” and no perfect moms. And moms, it is okay if you do not seek wool and flax. “It’s okay to do online Kroger pickup you don’t have to go a long ways to get your food.” You can stay in bed instead of up all night, and “ladies it’s okay to go to TJ Maxx and get your comforter.” What matters is the difference godly women make in our homes, society, and church. Your model is Jesus, “and Jesus is able to help you be more like him every day.”
A Word to Husbands
Value your wife. Verse 10 says an excellent wife is far more precious than jewels. One writer put it this way: “honor is a decision to view our spouse as a Priceless treasure a person of high worth and value.” Proverbs 18:22 says “a man’s greatest treasure is his wife.” Do you speak kindly to her? Do you criticize her? Do you serve her and protect her, even from your in-laws?
Trust your wife. Verse 11 says the heart of her husband trusts in her. Throughout Scripture we are warned about trusting anyone but God, with this exception. I tried to handle the checkbook when we were first married 37 years ago, but I was messing things up, so I handed it to her. We have a rule that major decisions need both of us. You can say you are the head of the home, but “she’s the neck that turns the head.” Listen to her. Wives are usually great communicators, and guys try to fix things, but “they need to be understood and assured.” Turn off your phones and have a date night.
Praise your wife. Verses 28 and 29 say to praise her above all others. Mark Twain said, “I can live on a good compliment two weeks with nothing else to eat.” Do it privately and publicly, and make it genuine. “Don’t compare her with someone else she’s the most precious Jewel that God has given you.” And verse 30 says to praise her because she loves Christ: “charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” First Peter 3 says to let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with a gentle and quiet spirit.
A Word to Children
Rise up. The Book of Proverbs mentions mothers many times, and the verses are clear. Proverbs 1:8 says do not forsake your mother’s teaching. Proverbs 15:20 says a foolish man despises his mother, which means to treat her words lightly. “Don’t treat your mom’s words lightly don’t minimize them.” Proverbs 20:20 and 30:17 give strong warnings, and Proverbs 23:22 says do not despise your mother when she is old.
Speak up. Let your mom know you are blessed. Write thank you letters, and “send your mom a text and say Mom thank you for being there.” Many here no longer have their mothers. My wife and I talked that morning about what we would give to speak to ours one more time.
Discussion Questions
- Husbands: Which of these, valuing, trusting, or praising your wife, do you most need to grow in? What is one concrete thing you could do this week?
- Children, whatever your age: When did you last tell your mom thank you? What would it look like to say it this week?
- The passage points us to Jesus as the model, not to the ideal woman. Where have you been discouraged by comparing yourself to someone else?
Being a good husband, son, daughter, or wife “isn’t going to get you to heaven.” It is what Christ has done. “When Christ is your savior he enables you to be the husband and father that you should be.”
